I would not be too available for her moving forward. Weve not been as close since, but we would share messages, chat for an hour or so etc. Thank you for your comment. We want to share with you the truth about what we think turns women off so, you dont make the same mistake with your partner. I am improving myself. All of a sudden she said she wants to be alone at the moment and can only handle her life we both had a lot of stress lately her with dealing with debts and working a lot of the time and me with my children Ive given her space no calls or texts I do bump into her at work most days and she does still talk to me at work I do love this woman very much and want to make us work again please can you help, Hi Jeremy, All I know she is trying her hardest to avoid me right now. I would suggest keeping your distance and not being there for her as much as you use to. She hasnt gone more than 2 weeks since without contacting me, usually just a few days. my gf said that she needs some time to rest/space, and Im starting to follow your guide, my problem is Ive hear my gf is flirting with another guy, (confirmed) what should i do?? Best of luck. Now shes wants no benefits, but still initiates contact a couple of times a week. The only difference is we no longer kiss, hug, or have sex. She didnt remember that. Prior to this everything seemed fine until a week ago she went distant. I then unmatched her, b/c I cant bear to see her on that site. I took this as she was pushing me away. Im still at a loss here and Ill tell you everything. Over the years we started bringing family in, which brought out problems like ex husbands jealousy and family asking awkward questions about us Its been 1 month since we have given each other space and her instagram is always active. She responded saying thanks and asking what Im checking in on, in turn I blew it off answering the next day saying nothing in particular, just letting you know I agree with you and encourage thanking a step back. I know its hard but I believe stepping back and giving her space to figure things out will help her and you. While I dont help her with everything, I give her rides places and help her with her emotions through text. She talks more like Im a client instead of a husband. Now is your time to showcase strength instead of an attachment. Then I cleared my head a bit and told her that was selfish of me, and I was gonna give her the respect/trust she deserves and to call when shes ready to talk. Apollonia. I was calm and cool and wasnt specific I said I was good. This completely depends on why the space was needed. Just let her be. But I do believe space will be good for the both of you. It seems as though space was needed because she was losing attraction possibly? I cant keep this up, Hi Doug, I dont know if I should text less and see if she takes more initiative again like she did when we re-connected 2 weeks ago. I believe right now you should not be available if a woman is going to give her time to another man on your watch. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and weve had our ups and downs (I broke up with her for 6 weeks about 2 years ago because we didnt seem happy like we used to). We are both from conservative families and things moved fast and we are in a relationship. Should I text her every now and then and stay in contact? I was 27 days literally no contact but broke it yesterday as I now feel much better to communicate my feelings as opposed to before when I was fighting and begging for her. This of course caused me anxiety again and even my ex noticed this on my face. Do I just keep waiting it out? She decided to come over to my place and we talked, I was calm and honest with her. She admitted during a text fight that she still loved me, but was so stressed out about everything in her life. She came from a sexually abusive relationship and when she told him that they were gonna break up he pretended to kill himself and she was devastated. Later on that day her ex husband popped up and thats the first time I met him which everything was civil between us and was ok with me being there. Please dont say Im to young to worry about things like this because I really do love her, deeply. Give and take more space in the relationship, Hi Chris, A lot of this seemingly came out of nowhere too but was a repeat of previous doubts shes had. Hello Leo, I met this girl Come to an agreement. How long should the space be ? I find it difficult to not message at all, which I guess is also a problem. However, about a week ago, we had another big talk and she concluded that after seeing her therapist, theres no way she can pursue a romantic relationship right now with the emotional state shes in and the emotions shes repressed and that she strictly wants to be friends for now. As time goes on and it stays like this you might get hurt unless you can turn this around into a relationship. We will be close soon so Im hoping to see her ASAP. So I have lost 14 pounds in 1 week. The worst mistake you can make when she wants more space is to ignore her needs. But that doesnt mean were ready to start another relationship any time soon. Anyway after she hearing all I can offer she decided to go back to her country to think. I could tell she was really into me. I love her so much and want to be with her and only her, she just recently called and told me she needs space I respected this and we came up with an agreement of us texting eachother good morning babe, goodnight babe, I asked her how her day was and she called and said she needed a break, it was an emotional phone call between the both of us and it ended with her saying that it isnt me, she just needs time, and that she loves me and will call when she is ready. I love her more than anyone Ive ever been with. She was my go-to and I her. I didnt give her the space she asked for because i felt cheated on. Today my girlfriend told me to that she needs space in order to breath. That is whats going on here. I like doing this and usually do so that didnt sound too difficult. Hi Apollonia! She would constantly blame herself for not being able to appreciate me and hurting me instead. Just support her but also dont live in your fear of not seeing her again because that is just a fear and not a reality. However, Ive been giving her space. My business partner s has told her I had various ladies come to our home which is true but only one stayed the night with her daughter (autistic) her son her friend and her children. of avoiding me when i needed her most she hung up jus like im nthng. Giving her space is the only I can do, but should I walk away or wait for a reply patiently? If she is trying to still get over her past relationship then space is very important so she can heal and figure things out. Iv e started counseling for myself. I assured her that she was just overthinking and shes been doing everything fine but she stated its not fair to me because I should be her main priority but I am just simply not because she isnt happy with herself. I have been dating a women i absolutely love for 7 years. Apollonia, My girlfriend and I broke up last night Sept. 19, I proposed to her to get married last June 2017, we actually plan to get married by 2019 atleast. I would need to know more about this situation but if youve never met this girl and you are looking for a relationship, then this does not sound like what youre looking for. Saying what was I thinking to have another child. I hope youre doing great , i want to thank you first for all the work and advises you share with us ,you are truly a blessing. Then she asked if I wanted to have dinner later. Also, start to do things that will keep you busy during this time. She told me that she is unhappy with herself, she wants to go back to school, and wants to work on being happy in her own skin (my parents had told me that it looked like she was putting on weight). Secondly, she is mentioning that this relationship is not healthy. We hooked up once since, but then broke it off a month ago. Apollonia, Can I know what happend afterwards? Here are the links to my private one on one coaching and my membership We started off slowly and it intensified over the past few weeks. I encourage you to book a session with me so I can help you further as I would need more information. Analyze the relationship and see where your own shortcomings were. Thanks for any advice you might have. Unless this is what you truly want? How do I know if their is hope still. Apollonia. I would love to do the coaching but I cant afford to at the moment. Click Here. I would encourage you to book a session here. My Ex Girlfriend Wants Space Should i send her subtle messages or anything like that? I told her we can work it out and i will do whatever is required despite my several request she didnt change her mind. Oh she says she needs to lose some weight and I said in your own time when youre comfortable and you want to do it,, I am in good physical shape and she assures me im a handsome man and she is a goddess ,, weve never argued we have a great time together ,, once-in-a-lifetime two people meet ,,what do I do now,, Hi Lenny, So while I was in there she came to visit me with my family that she got to meet, we would talk on the phone everyday, when money was low she would send it for phone calls, we made plans to move in together with the kids, she was going to help out on focusing on what I had to do to progress, she was just great! 6 things to do when she says she needs spaceAsk her to tell you precisely what she means. Me and my girlfriend were in a long distance relationship for 8 months and she honestly felt like she was the love of my life. Hi my girlfriend told me she needed space after 3 years and it was a very sudden thing. ? All of these questions are negative self-talk in your head, and its not going to do you any good. I would really recommend booking a private coaching session to help. I finally agreed to give her a break last week. I am thinking that if i will not text her, she might take it as if i dont care anymore about her. It seemed to just come out of the blue. Is 5 months not enough time? I want to continue our marriage & I feel more love for her now than ever before. Tyler, I would love to help you with this. As humans sometimes when we are feeling a little overwhelmed we can lash out and just need some time to gather ourselves and it seems, to me at least, like that could be whats going on. Sunday afternoon we go on a date, I told her I didnt like to be reminded of the past and thats why I shushed my sister. (I do question and assume a lot :/) Plus you spent the whole day working on your car so what do you mean? I want to thank you for this tips. Next time you speak to her I would strongly suggest for you to say something like I enjoy being with you and spending time with you, but with another man in the picture is not respectful to me and I wont allow myself to continue this if you are dating the both of us. Hope this helps! She cannot move to another place because of her job. Then Just recently she said it again before her bday drop a bomb again and said shes overwhelmed and needs space to work through it and needs some quite time to herself. We meet in club, we kiss and the next day we though to get some coffee and wine. Yes she can learn to trust you again, it just takes time. I asked her what happened? Let her reach out to her. Get back into the gym, focus back on your hobbies. But Im confused. Try finding girls that want to meet in person because they are out there and they want to meet you! In this time, because of how I was acting she told her parents about what I had done because she thought wed never be together again. At the end of the day you can only take responsibility for yourself and when you implement boundaries in your relationship and do not tolerate the neglected behavior, you can build a healthy relationship. Do I walk away or can I tell me how to make her mine again. I asked if she like it and she said yea but its not like Ive never seen a penis before so I was so confused because when she sends me stuff I always compliment her she hasnt been the same since. Few weeks later shes distant again. You can tell shes not 100% herself and shes just mentally drained. Then after a week she broke up with me. Look at yourself as a man of pride, dignity, and respect and focus on rebuilding your confidence. But then New Years Eve came and it was the first time I stayed over her house with the kids and her ex wasnt there so we all thought why not spend New Years together. I dont mind just being a friend Any thoughts? I kept my cool mostly but on one of the mornings when we woke up together she said that she loved me like a brother and didnt fancy me any more. We are at our homes. But my life is going into a really confusing stage. How long there is a girl we were in a 4 years good relationship like there was an enormous amount of love and care. Should I not go to the same community run any more? Truth be told i am in denial of not being in a relationship. My name is Apollonia Ponti. I dont want to be there nor am I sticking around while she tries out a few partners. Hi Apollonia. I was hoping being intimate after such a long time would help us rekindle our spark, because we spent so much time being together in a non sexual(but still flirty) way. She feels uncertain about the relationship, she said that she felt something growing as we spent more time together, but after I changed she started to feel nothing, as shes feeling now, is there still hope to rekindle the relationship? I still care about her though. Hi She stated that i should be her main priority in everything but that I am just simply not because she is not happy with herself. We teach people how to treat us. 2 weeks have passed, its hard. But ever since that she keeps asking for space and she hasnt messaged me Thank you in advance for your reply. It is important to be I listen and doing that but not sure if Im doing the right thing? However, when she woke up she stated that awww that made me feel so much better and I love you with all of my heart, I want to spend my life with you and I cant wait for our future together, but that makes me feel like Im a horrible girlfriend, because Ive never wrote you paragraphs like that when you were upset (she doesnt want to be with me. Best, I love herplsss helpppp..she said that change your mind were having a cool off. I asked if she had any interest in meeting any one new or was talking to someone. my family and I felt they just didnt try hard enough. Please reply???? https://www.apolloniaponti.com/what-women-find-attractive-17-traits-everything-you-need-to-know/ Do i just let it be and hope she contacts me in the near future and hope she doesnt find somebody else? Im so sorry to hear about this and I know how tough this can be to deal with. We are studying in the same school, same module, same course, its just hard to play it cool 24/7. Please help me. Im gonna try your advice but I have a question for you. A few months ago I met this girl and right off the bat we hit it off. Thank you so much for reading When She Says She Needs Space, heres what to do! Hey Apollonia, I have a question could use your insight and your viewpoint on a situation im currently dealing with. Or she thought you ignored her. We broke up for several reasons, but mainly because I didnt pay as much attention to her as i should have. Its been 5 days since i left her alone and want to wait 3 days till i try to communicate with her again. During that phone call,Things were perfectly fine she was saying I love you and that I was perfect for her but she just felt she was not being herself as she was living in a fantasy world with me and ignoring her actual issues. Online and she came to me first. We had attempted intimacy 3x but she has anxiety/depression and I have ED from diabetes. ive known my girlfriend now for more than a year we were basically bestfriends before we became a couple , the first month or so was great we skipped so steps because we knew a lot of stuff about each other , but lately i noticed that shes avoiding me , doesnt want to meet me for dates and always brings some excuses and i become to realize that i was being needy sometimes , but the problem is that she is the type of a person that likes to be free most of the time, wants to meet once a week basically wants her space a lot and once ive noticed this ive pulled back before she says she needs her space , i love her a lot and i want this to work so how can i maintain a healthy relationship giving that i believe that spending time together with the person you love will make her care more and fall more for me ? Hi, Apollonia. Heres a direct link to where you could access coaching https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ Lots of damage has been done with the families and the families do not want this to go through. But last night, she said that shes not sure anymore, and that she needs some space. Do not call her. What should I do? Jesus, this was spot on. Best. No full on convo. Her texts became very dry, and me being the over thinker that I am, started to think for the worst. Meaning using the bank and such. You need time to really see whats going on and do the work on yourself. Join: 5 days ago 7th District AME Church: God First Holy Conference 2023 - Facebook Shes told me she needs space, which Ive been pretty awful at giving her that until now. I really dont want her to break up with me but she really wants to and we had an arguement about that. She blocked me from various social media and her phone. Team Apollonia. When we do come back to talk, focusing on what we have now instead of future plans of marriage. I would encourage you to invest in my master your confidence audio seminar on my product page. Typically a woman wont commit because there is no spark, she doesnt want to be in a relationship, or something in the relationship isnt going smoothly it was difficult. And we have been meeting over the weekends for the past one year. Am I too nice? I would work through this feeling that you have as this can push her away. Im going to continue to give her space and not text her or call her and let her engage with me if she wants. I would suggest focusing on you and how your life is and what areas you can improve on for balance. Whats important here is to give her space. Will giving her the space she needs give me a chance at working things out with her? I would suggest for you not to look at her stories. Hi Scott. Hi Torey, Shes always putting on drama so I always have to go apologize to her just to make her feel better. She has 4 kids they are all step kids but Ive spent 10 yrs of my life with them. Even if I dont really want to do it, I have got to the point where it might be the only solution to our relation Hi Thomas, She also text me to say that shed had a really nice time. So I finally agreed to let her leave the house and go to her moms for three days so that she could think. During this COVID-19 pandemic, I have been forced to work-from-home, as well as not go to the gym anymore (which as a powerlifter is very hard). I have done a lot of thinking about out relationship during our break up. Even if she says its not that. It caused a lot of people to go into a fight or flight mode. 1. Refocus on yourself and falling in love with yourself. Im giving her space but I just dont know if things will ever be the same. Theres a reason why shes ignoring you so dont avoid that. Hey, Ive been in a relationship with this girl for 2yrs now she said she needed time time apart to work on yourself course she feels she like she has lost herself in our relationship and she cant be alone anymore without me she doesnt wanna feel like she cant live without me, she said she doesnt want a relationship and suggested i should move on what should I do course I still love her and I want to be with her is there any chances of us being together? ha. I will give you direct feedback on what to do moving forward. She has to see the value in the relationship with you first. We had been having some sexual problems because of me (I blame this on my divorce, this never happened before.) I would give her some time and space. Apollonia. I dont text her at all unless she texts me. However this time things are much more serious I text her a lot and she asked for space and i dont want to lose her but she is now saying she doesnt know if its over or not and thats he needs space to decide. Hello Tazon, Im excited to chat with you and get you results! While I was in jail she was always so supportive and sent me money when she didnt need to and I just feel in love with her even more because I saw how great she is, I feel for her more than she has with me (im the type that wears my heart in my sleeve. I was dating a girl that I fell in love with. Again, do not hang on to her, be depressed, act desperate or be afraid because in the end this is not attractive to a woman and will only pull her away even more. She feels like Im always filling up my free time with activities and people, which is pretty true, and that she wants me to do some self reflection, so she can feel attracted to me again. The first article What It Means When Your Partner Says I Need Space! said to show up. Texas. Basically nothing has changed in 5 years, we have fun, hook up but after bringing in the kids too much, those two weeks a month we didnt see each other, became seeing us weekly and also (my fault, I know) me making her my priority. Until then, Im gonna be happy, productive and enjoy this life. My girlfriend and I are on a LDR and a few days ago I told her that just only then I felt sure about my feelings for her. We would even have mini movie nights with our dog and eat popcorn. Should I text her after 1 week? Right now the relationship feels like its over, I feel good with myself because I know I did everything in my power to make her happy but I am worried for her especially because of the personal issues I mentioned above. What should I really do now in the meantime? Everything is good and then one day shes just bummed out. I overheard she was single and made myself known. I know that she cares and loves me and I told her that I would respect her to give her the time and space. We see each other almost everyday after work, grab some food and talk for hours and sometimes have a wonderful sex. But again she emphasized again she needs space. So who are you to question me like this? She said she would like that. Any advice would be greatly received as i feel like Ive lost a wife not a friend! When I was in jail I gave the option that its ok to leave me because Im no good while in jail. I am a highschooler currently 16 years and Im in the eleventh grade. Hi Apollonia, She has just recently gotten out of an 8 month relationship. I recommend you to read this blog and share your comments after if you have questions as I know this can help. I really do love her and she always says same too. We have been talking about marriage for a long time and this seems like a far cry from that, Hi Brandon, All of her friends love me and Ive not reached out to them out of respect for her. We both are fighting depression, but I just wanna be there for her and I feel lost without her. Apollonia, Your comment heremy girlfriend asked for space cos we havent seen each other for 10 months but we communicate well even though I do most of the conversation She said she needs space to figure out what she wants and will truly make her happy, she also said she really needs me to focus on my finances and bills and work, If I want a future with her. We agreed to take things slow being that we were both coming out of relationships, and I feel I pushed to hard. Wishing you the best, Its important she sees shes not first place in your life. My biggest regret was not focusing on myself during some of the relationship or staying busy so we were constantly texting and I was too available making her lose attraction for me. If you need more coaching through this then Id encourage you to book a session. Thank you for sharing this and Im sorry what you are going through is not easy for sure.
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